I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
