so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've blown a few things in my day
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
