Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
