my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
