Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
