bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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