I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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