I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
