so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
