see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
