I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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