do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Four minutes until I can fart!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
