based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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