is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
