So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize