"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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