If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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