I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
