im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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