You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
