I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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