We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
