u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
