Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
