Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
