If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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