My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
