she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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