She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
