I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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