but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
