yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
