i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
