How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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