i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
