But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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