I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Are we still banned from the library?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
