fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
