i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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