and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
