you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
