fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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