I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
