I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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