Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
