Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Randomize
