My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
