you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
