Im at strip club and am horny
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize