He asked to "fluff my boner.."
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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