More tranny stories later!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
