O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
