it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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