Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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