when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
