So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
True college students do jello shots in the library
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