i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
