Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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