You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
