What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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