we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
