I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
